My friend Jack asked me in an email how I came to be where I am spiritually. I thought this would make a nice post since I've never written it down in chronological order. Here goes......
"To answer your question about how I came to be where I am spiritually is a very roundabout path. Growing up Catholic the liturgy never resonated with me. I felt like God was unattainable in the Catholic church. It was "us" the little peon sinners, and him or "them" the big guy in the sky and his priest/nuns who spoke down to "us". When I was 13 I asked my parents if I could stop going to mass because I felt it wasn't for me and I felt it was a waste of my time. They reluctantly allowed me to stop attending.
Sundays usually found me exploring the woods on the back of my horse. My spirit knew it was a better God-connection for me. When I was 16, I got very involved in the "born again" movement and was going to a charismatic church. For the first time ever I felt a sense of warmth and love in church. I was completely immersed on that path for a few years but the raging independent one within me felt it was too confining and controlling. It was an excellent experience overall, especially being a rebellious teenager. I think it kept me out of a lot of potential trouble.
I went off to college and through my Anthropology studies became interested in Native American spirituality, which resonated with me so much more because I've always been a nature girl and connect best with my spirit in nature. Since it isn't my culture I still found myself searching.
In 1998, a friend kept telling me I should do yoga because I was having a lot of knee pain from years of unknowingly hyper-extending my knees. I had a friend who had just done a yoga teacher training and she wanted to put a "guinea pig" group together to help her get more comfortable teaching publicly. Three friends and I helped her out and boom, that was totally it for me. I was so intrigued I started taking as many yoga classes that I could afford on a weekly basis. A year later I decided to do a training myself to go deeper into the philosophy and practice. I had no interest or intention to teach yoga, just a desire to know more. I completed Asheville Yoga Centers teacher training the spring of 2000.
In 2001, I met my main yoga teacher, John Friend, and it was a life altering experience. Total connection. It was Valentine's weekend and of course being Anusara and V-Day, the theme was heart opening! I was in a very vulnerable place in my life and going through a lot of emotional turmoil. The workshop moved so much energy in my heart center that I spent the first night in the hotel bathtub sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't even know why I was crying but it was as if a vast river of emotion was being released.
John and I had a strong connection and developed our friendship through emails back and forth. I was growing so rapidly and needed someone to help me understand the changes. He explained everything so patiently. He suggested I might read some of the works by Swami Childvilasananda, the head of the Siddha Yoga lineage. John is a student of the Siddha Yoga tradition. I bought a book of hers called Courage and Contentment, and from intense study of it over several months I received shaktipat, (awakening of the kundalini energy). It was literally as if the veil of delusion (maya) was lifted from my sight. I can say life hasn't been the same since. My perspective is vastly different now.
This spring I met a wonderful friend whom I call my spiritual "sounding board", Scott Marmorstein. Scott grew up in the Siddha Yoga tradition. His family lived in both the NY and India ashrams. He's a healer and often travels with John Friend. I was gifted a healing session with him this past April. I had been having a chronic back/rib issue and was going to the chiropractor twice weekly with little relief. My intention for our session was to deal with the back pain. Scott simply laid his hands on the problem area, did a little adjusting and it was resolved. Five months of chronic pain totally gone in a matter of seconds. The rest of our session was energetic balancing. It was one of the most profound interactions I've ever had. Words can't be wrapped around it. Life definitely hasn't been the same since!
I continue to work with Scott when he's in the area (he lives in Houston, Tx). Each session I have with him takes me deeper into my higher Self. Scott studies the work of Dr. David Hawkins, and turned me onto his work which has radically shifted my perception as well. It pairs well with my Siddha Yoga studies. I've also committed to a daily meditation practice. I feel little progress can be attained on the spiritual path without some sort of daily meditation. It's so easy to digress and forget my intention and spirit. Through my daily practice I am more mindful that all I do, I do to serve a Higher Source. A tiny shift in attitude makes a world of difference when working in my very stressful, frenetic job (veterinary technician in a really busy 4 doctor hospital). It can be so alluring to get caught up in the drama and take on a negative attitude. When I remind myself that all I do, I do with the attitude that I literally am serving the Divine, it helps me to stay clear and less attached to the works of the ego. That's the short version of my path."
